PSLS  •  News

I Can Clearly Not Predict the Switch Sales in Front of (Wii) U!

April 1, 2017Written by Heath Hindman

wits-1

The Nintendo Switch sold more units during launch week than the Wii-U, so I can clearly not predict sales behind Wii-U!

However! It didn’t outsell the Wii-U by very much, it currently lacks any sort of Mario, and is relying heavily on last-gen ports, so I can clearly not predict that it will be more successful than the Wii-U!

If you think I have a dizzying intellect, just wait till I get going!

The Switch taps into the Japanese love of portable gaming, like taking a 3DS and smashcrashbashing it into an iPad, whereas some people thought the Wii-U was just a Wii accessory, so I clearly have to predict that its sales will end up in front of Wii-U!

wits-3

Japan is a more price-cautious country than ever, and with Switch’s accessory prices being re-fuckin-diculous, I clearly have to predict that it will end up behind the Wii-U!

It has 1-2 Switch at launch to capitalize on its gimmick, just like the Wii did with Wii Sports. I therefore must predict that Switch will be more successful than the Wii!

But 1-2 Switch is sold separately, with a non-trivial price tag of $50 at that. And the idea of motion control is a lot less novel than it was in 2006. I therefore must predict that Switch will be less successful than the Wii!

wits-4

People are bored with Nintendo. Sony and Microsoft eclipsed them in the second half of Generation 7 on the console front, and the handheld world is gradually shifting towards phones and tablets. I clearly should predict that Switch’s sales will be lower than Wii-U’s!

Thanks to Pokemon Go and Mario Run and Mascot Verb, people have Nintendo on the mind more than ever, so I clearly should predict that Switch’s sales will reach higher than Wii-U!

This sales prediction game is so simple and all the other game pundits out there are so stupid! Never predict sales against HH, when clicks are on the line! AHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA…

facedownheath-1

Well guys, NSLS had a good run, but all good things must come to an end. We’ll now be shifting our main focus back to PlayStation and riding that however far it takes us. May we never forget all the memories we forged over this epic hour and a half or so.