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Daily Reaction: What Do You Buy the Man Who Has Everything?

June 27, 2013 Written by Dan Oravasaari

Killthemall

With the recent news that Sony has finally turned a profit, and that CEO Kaz Hirai has received $1.6 million in compensation for helping turn the tide of the company, the Daily Reaction crew of Seb and Dan show just how he should blow that cash. With various items that range from taking over the world toy soldier style to floating across the river in your own hot tub, we think we have some bases covered.

Dan’s Toys:

Let’s go kill them!

The first thing I would consider doing up with $1.6 million dollars would be to finally start up my own robotic army. That is where the R/C Zaku Techroid II comes into play. This remote controlled robot has a built in camera and BB gun, so it is free to take on missions without the need to be baby sat. Costing only $1,300 each, I think Sony could really send a message to Microsoft by sending 1,230 of them over to their HQ in Washington – you could even have Peter Dinklage lead the charge.

I’ll BB Back

Who hasn’t seen Terminator 2 and didn’t end up wanting a mini-gun? Well now you can with the Echo 1 Mini-Gun Electric Airsoft, and you won’t have to worry about spending any cash paying off the cops, as this one only fires BBs. Costing $3500 a pop, you could stage a serious battle or mount them to a few cars and play real life Twisted Metal.

Liger Mount Unlocked

As every badass knows, walking is for chumps – that is why you should spend your cash on a giant pet Liger like Hercules here. As it probably won’t cost you that much to pick one up, you could probably buy a few mini-guns and attach them and ride it around – I doubt anyone will try to stop you. (Note: PSLS does not encourage mounting weapons to animals, but has nothing against it if they came that way.)

Float On

After a long day hard day of ruling the world, you need to rest, but why rest like everyone else? A godly man like yourself should be floating on air, or at least sleeping on it. That is where the $1.6 million magnetic hover bed comes in. While this will probably cost you your whole nest egg, you could at least use it to score with girls really into magicians or magnets.

Don’t Run

While not exactly as fancy as the previous entries, this amphibious R/C tank can traverse both land and sea in a hunt for enemies that think they can escape your throng of robot warriors, at a fraction of the cost at $49.99.

Seb’s Toys:

Hot tug one out

Everyone needs a good hot tug, no matter how rich you are… Yes, the hot tug is a boat  with a hot tub inside it. After all the weapons and world domination implements Dan’s made you buy, this is the best way to de-stress that money can buy. Tugging is healthy.

It even plays Xbox One

Costing the full $1.6 million, the Triton 1000 Luxury Submersible is the best way to explore the bottom of the deep blue sea in style. Sure, it’s a bit on the snug side, but the seats are leather, meaning that when it inevitable implodes you’ll treat fish to the taste of cow meat for the first time ever.

Omg, wtf is that?

In your sub, I suggest you go hunting for a goblin shark, the universe’s freakiest creature ever. Dress it in some armor like your average guinea pig, and you’ll have a literal pet monster. This will make all your boardroom debates impossible to lose.

Nintendo

They must be worth like a million dollars now, right? Actually, it’s probably a bad investment, never mind.

Doggy style

A man in China spent a cool $1.6 million on a dog. You should too.

They say that dogs are man’s best friend, and, after paying that much money for the Red Tibetan Mastiff, it better be. Force it to be your friend, no matter what it’s like.

NB: Keep away from your goblin shark.

If you struck it big, what would be the first thing on this list you would buy? Should Kaz finally mount up and go visit Microsoft? How do you mount a mini-gun to a Liger? Let us know below in the comments, email us at DailyReaction@PlayStationLifeStyle.net or tweet us your bank information at Seb and Dan.