PS3 Review – Bayonetta

January 14, 2010 Written by Thomas Williams

Hideki Kamiya has worked on many excellent games during his career in the video game business, including Okami, Viewtiful Joe, and Resident Evil 2. His latest creation, Bayonetta, might not be for everyone, but it just might be Kamiya’s greatest effort to date.

First off, I’d like to say something about Bayonetta–for better or worse, this game is 100% Japanese and 100% crazy. How so? There are cutscenes featuring the heroine, Bayonetta, diving to save the last lick of her lollipop, having a dance off with a clone angel, and many, many camera shots of Bayonetta’s southern regions.Still interested? If so…then good. Because Capcom better take note. Even with all that nonsense, Bayonetta just made Devil May Cry look stupid.

As with most action games, Bayonetta’s storyline isn’t the star here. There are two warring factions, the Umbra Witches and the Lumen Sages. All you need to know is that the Angels above are trying to resurrect ‘The Creator’ Jubilieus and that you have to stop them from doing so. However, with all the action going on, you really aren’t going to give a damn about the game’s storyline. It’s really just there to help move the game along.

I hate to see you leave, but I LOVE to see you go, darling

Before I get to the gameplay and the graphics, I have to mention Bayonetta’s sexiness. Bayonetta’s ass is definitely one of the best digital asses yet. Even Chloe from Uncharted 2 would blush as Bayonetta walked by. And why not? Hideki admitted that he wanted the game to be sexy…and it shows. Bayonetta’s hair is her clothing, so when she uses her special moves, her birthday suit is on display (with strategically placed hair blocking certain parts). Everything about Bayonetta’s looks screams sexiness from the top of her lungs and your eyes will appreciate it. Bayonetta is pure sexiness.

The hype for Bayonetta’s gameplay reached an all-time high when the legendary Japanese gaming magazine Famitsu gave the game a pefect review score of 40 out of 40 and escalated when Edge Magazine said that Kratos, Dante, and every other action/adventure star needed to go back to the drawing board. I’m here to say that the gameplay is fantastic and will keep you entertained throughout the whole game. Bayonetta comes equipped with two guns in hand..and two guns on her shoes. You read that right. Not only can she blow angels’ brains out with hands, but she can quickly do the splits and kill two more angels coming up behind her with her feet.

In addition to her trusty guns, Bayonetta’s hair is also her weapon, transforming into a gigantic heel, a monstrous spider, or a dragon that chomps her enemies to death. You will also come across some wicked cool weapons, from gauntlets that can change between fire and electricity, to a badass katana (my favorite weapon in the game), to a whip that’s part snake. The game has a nice range of weapons, but I never used anything other than the katana during my play through. Also, unlike some other action/adventure games, you won’t be able to upgrade any of your weapons. And while the gameplay has some depth to it, you could very easily just button mash your way to victory, but there is a catch.

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