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You’d Better Go Hard in the Paint, Son

A new report out of Japan indicates that you’d better go hard in the paint, son.

The secretive report, acquired from inside sources, states that going hard in the paint, son, is the only way to go. At no point was going soft in the paint, son, suggested.

Do not hurt yourself intentionally. Make no mistake, this is not going hard in the pain, son; you should go hard in the paint, son. With a ‘t.’ Should you sustain an injury, it should be connected to how hard you were going in the paint, son, and not an unnecessary affliction you gave yourself to look tough. The paint is already a tough enough place without you dressing it up. Your toughness will be demonstrated by how hard you go in it, son.

Son, if you’re asking how to go in the paint, son, the answer is always hard, son.