If there are four things absolutely certain in this life, it’s the following: Death, taxes, arguing with your family over politics, and a never-ending flood of Kingdom Hearts merchandise. Of course, there’s a reason for that last one: Kingdom Hearts merch sells, and sells a lot. Nothing wrong with that, as the franchise’s Disney-spliced wish-fulfillment is one that has dominated the gaming discussion in one way or another for two decades. It’s also a series that resonates with fans as something they’ve grown up with, which might be why the reviews for Kingdom Hearts III are just all over the board. But one thing remains constant–the merchandise spice must flow. Publisher Square Enix has you covered if you find your life simply too devoid of cuteness in the form of these plushies of Sora and Kairi that are now available for pre-order. Look at the eyes! They look into your soul!
The look of these figures feels like a callback to the art style and look of an often-forgotten but pretty good World of Final Fantasy, in which tiny, chibi-esque versions of Final Fantasy favorites fight Pokemon-style. It’s also nice that Kairi is here too, emoting with all the force of a hurricane and showcasing just how important of a character she is to the franchise. Sadly, these $40 dollar plushies are sold separately, much in the grand tradition of Square Enix toys costing an exuberant amount of money. Be prepared to pay out the nose if you’re going to get both figures and have them eternally smooshing faces together since the games seem to constantly keep the pair apart.
The plushies ship in September of this year, so if you’re ready to hop on the Kingdom Hearts merch bus then be sure to do so now before these two items vanish, much like the upcoming release date for the recently delayed Kingdom Hearts Dark Road mobile game that was scheduled to come out in June.
Now, where’s my Donald and Goofy plushies to match?