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Rockstar, GTA V Better Not Include…

November 1, 2011 Written by Sebastian Moss

…Mobile Phones! With the first trailer for GTA V being released tomorrow, we take a look at some of the annoying features of Grand Theft Auto IV that held back the entire experience.

Mobile Phones:

At some point during Grand Theft Auto IV‘s development, the addition of mobile phones as a communication tool and menu system must have sounded like a great idea, with Rockstar taking one of the modern age’s greatest advances and using it to wow the poor and underprivileged immigrant Niko. But the grand idea of having the player always able to contact and be contacted by other characters quickly turned into a nightmare. GTA games have always been loved for their drop in and out storyline, with you able to complete a mission and then wipe out the population of a small nation, before continuing another mission. With a mobile in Niko’s pocket at all times, players could be happily chucking grenades at the boys in blue only to be pestered by your attention seeking cousin, Roman: “Hey Niko, want to have a drink right now? Oh and you’ll need to pick me up, and don’t be late.” And then, if you say no, the character becomes upset with you, closing off potential side missions. Lovely.

Cheats have always been an iconic part of the 3D GTA series and, while some cheats can be activated at any time, most are only really worth their salt if you use them to stock up mid-rampage. Who would need to restore their health if they weren’t in danger? Realizing this, Rockstar made cheat code entering an easy and pain-free experience, keeping the tried and true direction based cheats of the older gam- oh wait. Instead, cheats have to be entered via the phone, something that Niko puts away at the slightest nudge. So, if you’re being targeted by several cops, there really isn’t much hope in you successfully boosting your health.

Thin, indestructible objects:

There’s nothing more annoying than inconsistent destructibility in a driving game. When I was first allowed free reign in GTA IV, I immediately punched an LCPD officer to death, before hightailing it down the street in a taxi while 30 police cars gave chase Blues Brothers style. I plowed headlong through fences, people and lampposts, skidding around a corner and readying myself for a final break. Then, disaster – the taxi was brought to a grinding halt after hitting the sturdy, unbendable bow of a birch sapling. A small piece of wood, no wider than one of Niko fingers had stopped around 3000lbs of metal moving at 80mph.

Aggressive window wiping:

After hitting the World’s strongest tree, my bad luck didn’t stop there, with Niko diving headlong through the window and skidding along the ground for a good thirty seconds. Now, while bad crashes do lead to people being flung about like a ragdoll, is it too much to ask for a man who can drive any car, fly a helicopter and operate all the different aspects of a tank to learn how to put on a seatbelt? You’d think Niko would pick up the idea after the 15th time pretending to be Superman and failing.

Do you agree with our pet hates in GTA IV, or do you have any more you’d like to add? Let us know in the comments below.