Square Enix Gives PS Vita The Finger… Again

Let’s take a trip back to one year ago, to the day. March 9, 2014, It saddened me to see that the maker of some of my favorite games was neglecting one of my favorite platforms, as I pointed out “Square Enix Forgets That PS Vita Exists.”

We now come to March 9, 2015, and Square Enix has a new survey asking gamers all about their tastes and lifestyles. Guess what platform isn’t an option on your list?

Click to enlarge

Click to enrage. I mean, enlarge

There’s not even a box for “Other” to write it in. They’ve got “Other Mobile Phone” on there, but not any kind of “Other Game Device” or place to write in something they may have left out. The list includes Facebook, the original DS, and Steam vs. Non-Steam computers. It seems like, if a manager demanded one more list item, that the N64 would be a more likely choice than the Vita.

This is the game publisher equivalent of covering your ears and going “La la la la la.”

What will happen now is, perhaps, someone on the development squad has an idea for a Vita game, but the executives will see the data and say, “But look, approximately 0% of our users report owning a Vita! We can’t sell that! No way!”

The system’s sales are low, sure. There’s no denying that. But some publishers have found great footing on the device. We frequently see Atlus, XSeed, NISA, Namco Bandai, and others supporting the device and, presumably, getting a return on it.It might not have 3DS-level sales, but there’s a market to be found.

Notice how I said “and others” when listing publishers, just in case I forgot one? Take note, Square Enix — this skill is useful. It covers your bases, or, in the case of surveys, leads to more accurate data. Do you not want accurate data?

Above: The ghost of Vita fades from this lady's memory. She never saw one. If she fills out a survey, she will say she has a PS3, a 3DS, an iPhone, and that is IT!

Above: The ghost of Vita fades from this lady’s memory. She never saw one. If she fills out a survey, she will say she has a PS3, a 3DS, an iPhone, and that is IT!

The omission is particularly baffling, since the Japanese division of Square Enix is currently developing Vita software. Is it just a North American thing to ignore it?

If you let something slip on one survey, okay, we’re all human, but twice in a row? At this point, it’s fairly clear that the move is intentional. Square Enix doesn’t care if you have a Vita, doesn’t want to hear about Vita, and has had it with your stupid ass asking for Vita games. Seriously, stop bothering them by being honest in your answers to their questions about game systems you play. How dare you? You mother fucker, you.

As much as I appreciate not having to make a new banner image for what is becoming an annual tradition, I’d rather have more Vita games, as I really enjoyed the last Square RPG I played on my Vita. I hope I’m not writing a 2016 version of this article 12 months from now.